I had been waiting for some time, at the bottom of the stairs, for the Saturday boy to
leave the shop, so that I could take up my position, ready for the "hit" . While
I was waiting, in character, one of the drivers comes over to have a look at me (He
had been asked to move me into the shop). He looks me up and down a few times, then moves
me forward, then tries to lift me; He then feels my arm, and says
"this is weird". He goes back to get some help, exclaiming that I am to heavy
for him to lift on his own.
He returns, shortly, with another guy, who is wearing gloves. First guy says "Feel his arm", second guy feels my arm, "Now feel it with you glove off, it's warm", "yes you're right he replies, it's weird". They both leave.
First guy returns after 5 minutes with a short tubby guy. They both try to lift me. (Boo!)
I move into the shop and stand with my back to the counter. The Saturday boy is told by his manager to give me a hard hat and Axe. He gets the hard hat, and is then told to get a chainsaw safety kit. He disappears to the storeroom, and returns without one. He then checks my hand and says "He's already got gloves", "Yes", his manager replies, "Just put the chainsaw kit on it", the Saturday boy then then goes back to the storeroom, searching for the kit.
He returns a few minutes later and starts to try to move me. Finding that I am heavy, he steps back and studies me closely for a few moments. "This thing is breathing", he exclaims to his manager. The manager, without giving the game away comes back with "It's an anatomical dummy from Kings Cross Hospital", "That is why it's warm and look as if it's breathing". The Saturday guy studies me a gain", That's amazing", he's says, "It's so lifelike".
The manager says "It’s heavy, but you should be able to lift it". The Saturday guy tries to lift me again, but is unable to, so he decides to see if my legs will move, which they do, so he continues to move me, Slowly! across the shop floor by rocking me from side to side and pushing each leg forward in turn
Just as he has got halfway across the floor with this slow procedure, a driver comes through from the office. He has been told that the dummy is required at the Fulham branch (which of course, is his next stop). The Driver asks the Saturday guy, "Its it heavy", "Yes man", he replies.
The driver tries to lift me. They decide that they need to do this together. They tip me over, and carry me out of the shop horizontally. One is carrying my trunk and the other my legs. I keep as stiff as I can, while they are constantly trying to keep a grip on me.
They want to put me on the truck, on the near side, but one staff, who is knows what is going on, folds down the far side of the truck to prolong the joke. When the driver notices this he shouts, "You bastards, this is bloody heavy!", They carry me round to the driver's side of the truck.
I can feel that they are getting exhausted now, "Just throw him on, he's getting too heavy", the driver exclaims, as he gets closer to the truck.
The truck flap is down, and I'm being carried horizontally, towards the truck, with my
head to the rear. I feel myself being swung, and I know that if I keep motionless it's
going to hurt when I land. They swing me backwards, one more time and then let go.
Just before I lad, I put my hands put to break my fall, then in the same movement, twisted
round and sat on the edge of the truck "Thank you very much!", I exclaimed at
them.
The driver turned on his heals and ran, while the Saturday guy just froze!