New employees get pranked while putting chainsaw kit on real living mannequin

Life as a Hire Shop Mannequin #3 - Chainsaw kit

by - 04/05/2015

I arrive at the shop, and get sneaked up upstairs, to a meeting room, where I got changed. I used my contact lenses, and a some new devices that I was just trying out.; they are little bits of curved plastic, that I put in my nose, to open my nostrils, as I had noticed that my nostrils moved slightly when I breathed. Because it was cold, I wore a padded suit underneath, which would give me a soft texture when they felt me. Over all of this I wore their blue company overall.

The Manager had told the two new recruits that there was a mannequin upstairs that needed to be dressed in a "chain saw" suit, and then brought downstairs. He said that they were quite bright, and would catch on fairly soon!

I asked him to bring the kit up, and I tried on the jacket, which was very tight due to all of the padding. I also made sure that the "chaps" were of the zip up type so that they didn't have to put me on the floor. I put the gloves on, so that they didn't see my hands. They are mitten types, and quite large. I also put on the orange hard hat with the visor down, to make it easier for me, so that they couldn't see too much of my face, as when I tried this once before the guy guessed straight away, although I later found out he knew about me.

So I'm standing in the corner of the room, leaning against the corner of a table, waiting for the manager to arrive with the two victims, trying to calm my breathing, and keep still. He brings them in, tells them to dress me with the kit, and I bring me down when they have finished. They both look quite and young and slight, one is a girl, and the other a guy, and I think that even together they will have difficulty moving me.

Well they come over and inspect me, and say the usual things, "Oh how real", "or "That thing is spooky". They look around me, squeeze me. They even lift the visor and have a look at my face, and poke it and say "Oh it's soft", "It's even warm". Then they try to move me forwards, so that they can get access all the way round in order to dress me in the kit. They then realised how heavy I am, so they pushed my feet forwards one by one, and move me a small distance away from the table.

Then, for some reason, the guy starts getting a bit violent, and does karate kick to the stomach. Not content with this, he starts punching me in the chest, and exclaims, "The dummy is very stable", "look I can punch him in the chest and he doesn't fall over". I have to think quickly before I become a kick-boxing practise dummy so I decide to pretend to fall over so he'll realise that he could damage the dummy. So at the next blow I start to fall backwards, "Oh shit, it's falling", he grabs my arm to catch me and pulls me forward, and re-balances me. This fortunately stops his kick boxing practise.

They return to their task and they go off and get the kit, from the table.They, take the chaps (trousers) from the bag, and take a leg each and start trying to zip them up. The girl, working on my left leg, says, "His legs are too fat", but she manages to zip it up, closely followed by the guy on the right leg. Then they look at the spats, and start trying to put them on my elbows.

Then, one of the guys from downstairs, (who I later learnt was dying to know what was going on), came upstairs. He looked at me and smiled, and agreed with them that it was a very realistic mannequin, and told them that the spats were for over the shoes. So hen they each tool a spat, and simultaneously fitted them over my shoes.

The girl says, "I wonder it has fingers?", so the guy starts squeezing my right hand, I curve and tense up my hand inside the mitten type glove, so that they don't take it off.. "Oh they move, they're horrible!","I wonder if it has teeth as well", adds the girl, so the guy moves my lip, and sees my teeth, "Oh it's even got teeth, that's gross"

The girl then wipes my chin, and says, "it's got make-up on","And it even looks like it's sweating", "I think that this is best left down she says", moving the visor back over my face. (charming I think!)

I'm surprised that they haven't guessed by now, I realise that they are suspicious. They have even said that I'm "Too real!", but they are under the belief that I am a mannequin, so they dismiss all the evidence to the contrary as everyone else is confirming that I am a mannequin, so I decide to continue.

They then get the jacket from the table, move my right hand and push it down the arm of the jacket; I have to move my fingers together so that they can get my hand and glove through the cuff of the jacket. It is a very tight fit, and they have to struggle, with my arm outstretched. The guy says, "He's a strong guy", which is an unusual thing to say about a mannequin. Had he guessed? Not quite!

The girl then folds my left arm behind my back, and moves it into the left arm of the jacket, again after much struggling, the hand goes through the cuff of the sleeve. They struggle a bit, but finally manage up zip the jacket up the front. Again a very tight fit. "Couldn't they have got him a bigger jacket?", the girl says.

They stand back. The left sleeve is all twisted, and after trying to untwist it, without success, they decide to sit down, and they guy opens a can of fizzy drink. they start to talk, and the guy is definitely trying to chat the girl up. It seem that they both go to college together. The guy has his back to me but the girl keeps looking over, which means I can't relax for a moment

After about twenty minutes of this, where I have had to stand totally motionless without support, another guy comes from downstairs, (who again wants to know what is gong on with the joke) they tell him how real the mannequin is, it even has teeth.

He smiles, and says "We need it now! down in the shop", They ask him to give them a hand in getting the mannequin downstairs, and he says "No! that's your job". So they each take an arm, and try to carry me across the room, well I'm getting lower, and lower, and the girl is exclaiming "I can't hold it!".

When we get to the top of the stairs, I'm basically on the floor. The guys says, "Let's drag him down!", each taking an arm they drag me down a very long flight of stairs. (Thank God for the padding again.I think!). At the bottom they decide to try and get me upright again, so they lift me up but my feet are on the step, so when upright they have to kick my feet to move me down a step.

They try again in vain to carry me, which basically turns into being dragged across the floor again by my arms. They finally get me into the shop, and lift me back onto my feet. Then they look at what their efforts have done. Well I'm filthy, and my face is smudged. The girl says, "Look at what we've done to his face, it's all smudged", and tries to wipe my cheek. I must have blinked, because, she exclaimed, "He blinked", at this moment I knew the game was up so, at this point they were both holding me up. Everyone in the shop was watching, still in disbelief that it had gone this far, so I grabbed them both as said "Boo!"

The girl ran off screaming, and the guy just went very quiet, and stayed in the corner, looking stunned, in total disbelief.

After they had calmed down, what concerned them most was all the things that they had done to me. Dragging me down the stairs, kicking and punching me. "Yes", I said, "Maybe you'll treat mannequins a bit better next time".

When I spoke to both them later, apparently at various points throughout the experience, they had both wondered about the realism of the mannequin, but as I had remained in character throughout, not moving or reacting to anything, they had remained convinced, especially as the manager and all the staff had done a great job of acting as if this was an everyday occurrence, even though they found it hard to stop laughing.

What I go through for my art!!!!

Next >