mannequin-man
the living mannequin /
Human statue

Mannequin on loan

This is the first time I decided to use my stand. This is a heavy metal plate with two metal posts welded onto it. Over these posts I have two metals poles, that pass up my legs. I had the stand made so that I would be able to stand in the same position for long period, without any noticeable swaying; It also allows me to be wheeled about on sack trolleys, which was what happened on this occasion.

The Manager wheels me into the shop, and leaves me standing on the sack trolley. Then, about five minutes later two shop lads, who had been clearing up in the back yard, came in. They were dressed in the same coveralls as I had been given, and been asked to deliver the mannequin to the Mobile Phone Shop, next door.

This was a double joke, as the Hire shop Manager wanted to play a joke on the Manager of the phone shop.
The hire shop Manager had told him that he had just got hold of a mannequin for the shop, and asked him if he wanted to borrow it for half an hour.

One of the guys started feeling my bum, and said "isn't this weird!", he squeezes it.again,"It feels really soft!".
They manoeuvred me through the door and out of the shop and started to wheel me across the forecourt. I suddenly realised that we probably wouldn't have a chance to "get them", so as I was being moved, I caught the managers eye, and indicated that I wanted to be brought back into the shop.by moving my head slightly. he caught on, and made the excuse that they needed a bigger trolley, so the two guys brought me back in to the shop, and went out to the back to find the trolley.

I explained to the manager that we should "Boo" the guys here, and them get them to take me over the road to the phone shop. The two guys returned, and as they were moving me from the first trolley, I "booed" them. After the normal stunned reaction, one guy started to look embarrassed, "I was feeling your bum", "No wonder it was soft!"

.We explained the new plan to the two guys, and they wheeled me out of the shop, and across the road. They manoeuvred me through the door and positioned me by the coffee machine.

The Manager spoke to the phone shop Manager, and said "You can have it as long as you want". As soon as the hire staff had left, the hire shop Manager came over to me and said, "We're not giving them free advertising!", and proceeded to removed my hat a and glasses. Then he got a new green NOKIA fleece from under the counter, and removed it from the packaging  HE came up to me and raised my right arm, and slipped it into the right arm of the jacket, and lowered it again. Then he pushed my left arm backwards, and slipped it into the left arm of the jacket. Then he went round the back and pulled up the back of the jacket so that it sat over my shoulders. Next he returned to the front, and zipped the jacket up, adjusted my left arm back into place, and stood back to check his work..

About ten minutes passes, and one of the staff, who had been watching me closely, pipes up, "It keeps watching me", "It’s alive". The phone shop manager comes over and looks at me, and says "what are you talking about", and then slaps me round the face.

To his horror, I come alive at this point. (Yes there are dangers to this profession). "God - sorry mate, I didn't know you were real - Sorry". A few minutes later, the Hire shop manager returns to see if the joke has been sprung. "You bastard, I'll get you back!"